24.2.06

coming out

hello all, I hope this post finds you all in good spirits and high hopes. I am writing to you to announce my eligibility for the upcoming NFL draft. This had been a long time coming and I really appreciate all of your support, you were always there to offer encouragement and undying criticism. I know that you all have always thought I was a bit of jackass for having dreams of someday lacing up my cleats and banging heads with some of the greatest athletes in the world, but you are just going to have to accept the fact that I am a world class athlete and I belong in the company of greatness and nothing can hold me back. The way it looks now I will be a late 2nd round pick or an early 3rd round pick. So please I ask for your thoughts and prayers as my future now lies in the hands and hearts of the upper cusp of society. I am also hear to announce that the coattails ordinance is not in effect on this transaction as I will be making absurd amounts of money and we all know what that can do to a shallow human being like myself. And since nobody else has ever expressed any interest in my career i have decided to name one Grant Leunig as my manager/agent since he is named after Vikings immortality and will attract the necessary attention needed to really make a name for myself in the NFL. Tiffany has assured me that i am making the right decision by foregoing the completion of my college degree and going for the gold. God bless you all.

4 comments:

Anna Nym said...

Congrats on following your dream. It will be fantastic to watch you get your ass kicked repeatedly on television. We've all had our asses kicked in private, but only you have the courage to take that to the public sphere. We'll all be booing for you.

Nasty Nate the Monster Mumbler said...

I'm sure you'll receive a career ending injury in your rookie season. So much for dreams.

ETC said...

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your such a pesimist

ETC said...

no likey spell-y