20.3.07

ssssss ssssss ssssss ssssss

The dreaded laundry day cometh.
The muse whispers gossip in our ears
about Angelina's new black baby
and a Chinese diet guaranteed to slim.
With the linens and the Lennons and the Lenin
and the lentil in the little cup of soup, and the people
in the People for the people who like people,
or just the ones who circle certain loops.

Laundry day is here.
There is something been garbled in the barbauld
of all these sheets, sheets, sheets
and accessory magazines
while you wait-and-see, wait-and-see, wait-and-see
for the hissing to cease.

10 comments:

Guatimozin's GOLD said...

Apocalypto NOW...
say,"Oh My Gibson!"
Cortez Malortez
Oh... yeah. Kill us all.
We'z with Quetzacotle

krs10 said...

I'm in the process of saving all of my really old emails to a text file so that I don't have to pay nazi hotmail for extra storage anymore. And I found a gem from 2003 I'd like to share:

From : Persephone Incognito [address removed]
Sent : Tuesday, September 2, 2003 6:07 AM
To : [addresses removed]
Subject : domestic (s)kill

So...

Tonight I made some cookies at work. Generally, the morning shift does all the baking, but tonight has been slow and I wanted to eat a cookie.

While baking the first batch I was tragically distracted by Family Ties. There's something about little Alex P. Keaton that keeps me staring at the television, and in this episode he was taking his Princeton interview. But my mental love-affair with the young Michael J. Fox is irrelevant to the cookies...or is it? One could argue that the cookies were scorched by the fire of my love for Alex P. Keaton.

Yep. I killed the first batch. Killed them dead.

So, I took a stab at a second batch, estimating that I overcooked the other cookies by about ten minutes. I set the oven for the estimated time (6 minutes) and allowed the second batch to cook. About an hour later I pulled my results from the oven. The cookies were not completely solid...they looked a little snotty in the middle. Not at all appetizing for me or my fickle guests. So I threw them away and gave up on baking.

I cannot even bake a simple tray of cookies. What kind of a woman am I? Cookies are easy...slap them on a tray and set the oven for the right temp and time. What about that simple process eludes me? I like to think that I am an intelligent woman, so WHY CAN'T I BAKE COOKIES? I've seen some of the idiots who bake cookies. It's so NATURAL to them. And I could run intellectual circles around them with only half of my mental prowess. So why can't I ape them and mimic their culinary movements? Because I'm a different kind of idiot. That's right. I'm calling myself an idiot. I'm a specific type of idiot, a waste product of the sexual revolution.

See, creatures such as myself have shirked our feminine qualities. We, in fact, have no feminine qualities. The only things that clearly distinguish us from men are our breasts, and in this age of oddities breasts are hardly a clear margin for dividing the sexes.

So what happens when we live in a world where no one can bake the damn cookies?

Women like me, we pride ourselves on our mental agility. But what does mental agility produce? Nothing. I will only contribute to what causes decay in this country...too much talk, not enough production. I am attending college to become one of the many bureaucratic asswipes who can do nothing but blow intellectual smoke up the nation's poop hole.

And who will bake the cookies?

I have no practical skills. I'm very angry at myself. All I wanted was a damn cookie. Why aren't cookies included in a liberal arts curriculum?

-[Anna Nym]

krs10 said...

PS you got mad skilz anna

Anna Nym said...

Wow. It was weird reading that. Like being in a time machine. 2003. That's a long time ago.

I should say that now, I can bake cookies. I can even cook food that doesn't come straight from cardboard or cans.

I am, however, no longer mentally agile. I guess that's a fair enough trade.

Dent Burntrap said...

I traded my mind for your food long ago ms. nym and I'd do it all again

madam tyrant said...

blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah v

ETC said...

v?

Anna Nym said...

Control V, minus the control. You people don't even have the decency to type out your contempt anymore. Just copy and paste, copy and paste,copy and paste,copy and paste,copy and paste,copy and paste,copy and paste,copy and paste,copy and paste,copy and paste,copy and paste,copy and paste,copy and paste,copy and paste,copy and paste,copy and paste,copy and paste,copy and paste,copy and paste,

V.

And thank you, Dent. You should come visit, and I'll cook you a good meal.

ETC said...

(Sea) Lever

Did you type out "copy and paste" multiple times for a personal excercise/demonstration of intent? A physically executed manifesto declaring "You can take your key comands and SAVE AS up yer "Trashcan icon?" or did you fall victim to the very thing you strive to dessimate? Hypo Krossy? or have you proven yourself worthy of the presidency? Bringing order and direction to this ragtag bunch of villagers with your unfaltering ideals... banding together to stand up to.... up to... something... something bad, that we dont like? Something surely evil that we know must be stopped. Something... Theres gotta be something that we all hate together. I'm not wearing this Crass shirt for nothing.

F Copy MF Paste
Keepin our digital analog
until our children invent mind commands...
... they'll keep blogs that record the thoughts of every moment. Subconcious reality TV©... SEx Sex I'msofat SeX Grandma Food I think I'm dying what if I do? Sex Pretty sunset sex $$$ Sex...
best show on MindWeb™

Seal ♣ing©

✌ Peace

dear friend said...

Smile.