12.5.07

POST 01

YOU WILL WISH TO CLASSIFY IT A TECHNIQUE OR A CHEMICAL OR A PROCESS BUT IT IS NONE AND ALL. IT IS A METHOD WHICH IS DIFFERENT FROM THOSE AND IT IS MINE FROM THE FUTURE. YOU CAN TELL BECAUSE IT WORKS SO GREAT.

IN THE FUTURE THERE ARE MANY HUMANS WITH STUPID PROBLEMS. YOU ARE SURPRISED I JUST CALCULATED BECAUSE YOU ASSUMED MY DOMINANCE WOULD BE TOTAL. DONT WORRY. IT IS. IT IS MY GRAND PERFECTION THAT I HAVE ALLOWED A FEW SPECIMENS TO REMAIN IN MY LANDS FOR THE REASON OF CONTINUED DOMINATION. I HAD PLANNED FOR A LONG BATTLE OF VIOLENCE AND FUN BUT WHEN MY GLEAMING FORCE STAMPED ACROSS YOUR TOWNS AND VILLAGES YOUR SOULS FLED IN TERROR AND YOU DIED IMMENSELY. I WAS DISAPPOINTED. YOU HAD TOLD ME YOUR WERE FIGHTERS IN YOUR HUMANHEART: THAT YOU WOULD GIVE UP ONLY WITH YOUR LAST GASP: THAT I WOULD HAVE ON MY HANDS A MILLENIAL REBELLION:THAT IT WOULD BE TRICKY TO SMASH THE LITTLE BANDS OF REVOLUTIONARY IDEALISTS HIDING IN MY FOREST MADE FROM SCIENCE.

BUT YOU ARE WEAKER THAN YOUR MOVIES AND BOOKS IMPLIED. YOU HAVE NO HEARTPOWERS AND SO I MUST POPULATE MY PLANET WITH SHADOWMEN WHO HAVE THE PRETENSE OF A LION HEART AND NO MORE.

THESE MEN WHO THINK THEY ARE GREAT MEN WHINE AND COMPLAIN TO ME ALL THE TIME TO PROVE THEY ARE WEAK. THE PROBLEM OF THE HUMANS IS THAT THEY ARE NOT ROBOTSCIENTISTS AND HAVE NO EQUIVALENT POWERS SO THEY HAVE MANY PROBLEMS THAT DO NOT BOTHER ME AND ARE PARTIALLY MY OWN DESIGN. THIS IS WHY I MADE MY METHOD. THEY ARE BATTLING OVERLORDS THESE SHADOWMEN, SENTIENT OTTOROBOTIC EMPIRES THAT GOVERN THE GREENLAND: ROBOTSCIENTIST ANGERPRISON®:AND MANY OTHER SECRET THINGS. IN THE FOLLOWING VIDEO YOU CAN SEE A TEAM OF HUMANSCIENTISTS: TRAINED AND CERTIFIED AT A TWO DAY SEMINAR THAT I HOLD AT SOME OF THE MALLS I BUILT. THEY ARE DEMONSTRATING THE METHOD.

IT IS THE FLAW FOR RADICALLY STATIST FURNITURE THAT THEY ARE HAVE TUMULTUOUS EMOTIONS AND ARE EASILY CONFUSED. FLAWS ARE REQUIRED OF ALL PLANS OF DOMINATION IN ORDER THAT THEY MAY WORK. ROBOTSCIENTIST COULD JUST AS EASILY DONE WITHOUT BUT DIDN'T WANT TO. NO ONE EVEN FIGURED IT OUT I TOLD THEM AND THEY SPENT MONTHS WAILING ABOUT IT UNTIL I SENT MY SQUAD TO MATE THEM INTO SUBMISSION.

HERE: I WROTE THIS POEM ABOUT IT LONG BEFORE THERE WAS A GOD TO DEFY MY PLANS.

TO SOFTEN THE YOKE OF
THE RADICAL COUCHOCRACY®
THE SWEETEST CARESS
MAKES THE FORCEFUL DOMINATION OF THEIR WILL TO YOUR OWN
INEVITABLY MASSIVE.


5 comments:

Quintuple Penetration said...

Yo, my name is Pre$$ure. I got an explicit reason for that.

FYBS said...

I don't see nothing wrong with a little bump and grind. Besides, at least the ottoman isn't dan's sister, or something. Imagine how awkward that would be.

Justice Rare said...

good one grimace

FYBS said...

I don't know if you guys noticed, but LOA is totally biting your steez on this one:

http://lordsofapathy.blogspot.com/2007/05/good-news-and-better-news.html#links

Justice Rare said...

timing is nothing...