Did you see it yet? Oh, you've got to see it! The middle part is all chopped out, but the beginning? The end? Fantastic.

I've gotta lay out the players. First, there's Saddam. More about him later. But then there's all these guys around him. They look like many Iraqis and Muslims and the like that I see on television, their heads all swaddled in black ski-masks because they love Allah and it gets very cold in Iraq during the winter or something. You know those videos where the Islams are getting ready to cut off somebody's head? Those camera men and location scouts must work both sides of the fence! Ha!

The location they found is just dr-i-i-i-ping with juicy symbolism, because death abounds with symbols! The room was in this place called Camp Justice, a small compound in the northeast of Bagdhad where most of Iraq's justice is manufactured. It used to be called "Camp Banzai", which means, "May the Emperor live for Ten Thousand Years", but the long life of dictators was replaced by "Justice", mostly because "Banzai" was pretty racist and didn't convey the bucket loads of justice.

Oh, I didn't tell you, there isn't any sound! So you can pretend like it's not really happening, if you close your eyes, it's just a Saturday Morning and there are cartoons on the television and if you were thinking ahead, you would have put the cartoons on and had a hilariously incongruous soundtrack! But you didn't, so now you look at him in silence as he nods and shuffles and looks generally concerned about the whole affair. He's wearing a long black trenchcoat, (I'm taking bets on the first cable news personality to speculate on how popular this jacket will be! I'm also hinting, so if you haven't gotten me a Christmas Present this year...look into it! The link is probably the MSNBC website already) and he looks tired. I hope he's not going to be grumpy through this whole thing!

So the terroristy looking fellows wrap a cloth around his neck, a black one (the color of the season, apparently). The cloth is supposed to help the rope grip his head, and not rip it off, but if the designers are watching, it's making a nice scarf to match the jacket! Here's about where it cuts out. I only have rumors, but what the hell, like my Dad used to say, "Spread 'em!" Hay-o. Apparently, Saddam said the Muslim prayer and was escorted onto his little platform. The platform has a railing and I can't help thinking they might save on handcuffs if they'd just remove that inconvenient little banister! Then he shouts either "Down with Persians" or "God is great. The nation will be victorious and Palestine is Arab." "Down with Persians", everyone understands that, because they're sneaky and they steal. But "The nation will be victorious and Palestine is Arab"? Saddam, goose, both silly and cooked, the nation is victorious! They voted, remember? With their purple fingers? That was liberation, my friend, V-I-C-T-O-R-Y! Second, Palestine is Arab? Who are you, Captain Caveman? Nice last words!

So then the video comes back on, and it's a different camera man, but still, it looks all Real-Worldish/Al Queda executiony. Saddam, former "head of government" is now just a "head in a sack"! Ha! He's dead, of course, they choked him to death with the rope and a little gravity.

Some are going to say Iraq is still a fucking shithole filled with violence and terror and killing an out of the loop old man didn't change that, but they're wrong and needlessly vulgar. Life isn't that simple, nayspeakers! Of course, the violence isn't going to end, because you're a little right, he's just an old man who has nothing to do with it, but more importantly, it sets a precedent in this deeply divided nation that retribution is the way of the future, that Justice comes at the end of a rope! Long live Iraq! BANZAI!!!


Anonymous said...

you fuckers are coming at 2007 full stride. nice ones.

Anonymous said...

One of the guards, though, became angry. “You have destroyed us,” the masked man yelled. “You have killed us. You have made us live in destitution.”

Mr. Hussein was scornful. “I have saved you from destitution and misery and destroyed your enemies, the Persian and Americans.”

The guard cursed him. “God damn you.”

Mr. Hussein replied, “God damn you.”

Yes you heard him. God damn you indeed, and to all a good night.

Happy new year.