An Angry Protest and VT Burgers

Last night I stayed up until 6am, working on the rough draft of my senior thesis, of course, due at 11am. I took the word "draft" very seriously, finishing only eight pages and then making extensive notes under the heading "HERE THERE BE FUTURE". I was fucking tired. By the way, if you want to replace your cultural knowledge about Bukowski as a bad ass with the truth of him being a big brat brute who just wanted to be loved, you are welcome to read my paper, eventually.

Anyway, I stay up until a little after 6 and take a nap, knowing that besides the paper, I also have to take a test that was postponed due to the bomb hoax of the previous post. It was meant to be a three hour nap, followed by, of course, waking up and studying. I wake up at 10:37, literally five minutes before I have to catch my bus. For one minute I sit there, contemplating just emailing my professor the shit I wrote.

Fuck that. I didn't stay up all goddamn night to sleep in. I throw on some pants, toss a bra in my backpack and take off down the street. My tits violently protested this breakneck decision, but I couldn't take their arguments seriously. I made it to the bus stop just as the bus pulled up, only then feeling embarrassed that the Section 8 audience down the street had fixated on the motions of the angry demonstrators on my chest.

Yeah. They watched my tits bounce. So did the people at the S-Mart. Fuck 'em.

So, I make it to campus, turn in my paper, and leave for a quick lunch. Low and behold, under a sign reading, "WE ARE ALL HOKIES: REFLECTING ON THE TRAGEDY AT VIRGINIA TECH," was a free burger stand at Coffman Union. Free Virginia Tech burgers for all. I guess the idea was that while we're deciding between the meat and veggie options, we are remembering that 30-some people can no longer make that choice. Then while we sit on the lawn with our VT Burgers, chips, and an apple, we will cry into our sodas.

Funny. No one talked about Virginia Tech at all.


ETC said...

Man, this burger... its so good.... and... so free... free like soul released from the confines of the body. Free like, like, not having to worry about what I'm wearing anymore... Theres nothing like a puddle of blood pouring from your chest cavity to take the attention away from the alloverprint DragonBallZ button up shirt... Hmmm blood... This burger is cooked to my personal perfection... medium rare.... I know that your not supposed to eat ground beef when its still a little pink, but... but its so good.... and so free... and man... Funny how I benefit so greatly from tragedy. man... tragedy is great... i mean.... no.... delicious. and horrible... and... free.



Hollingsworth J. McTubbins said...

What's a hoakie?

The world really must be fucked,
when even the shitizens are losing hope.

+1 Kudo - for the Dragonball Z reference.

Anonymous said...

shitizens FTW

ETC said...


Hollingsworth J. McTubbins said...

So VT lost two things recently:

Student lives.

Profits from giving away VT Burgers.

When will these tragVT's end?

The Grza said...

It has been put to us that we are hopeless. That the light of dreams is dimming and flickering and falling away. That we declare ourselves slow, old and alone and no longer able to outsprint the void and its voidoids.

How can we respond?
If it is true, we feel too little remorse. We laugh and drink and celebrate at the brink of nothingness, in the gulf of nihil. Is this possible?

I hope not. It must be that our callousness, our apathy, our drunkenness prove us to be sensitive, caring human beings with an eye on the future and the good of the Human race beating within.

But if it exists, where is our hope?

It is where the tits bounce.

It is the force inside us all, dragging us over to the couch to talk about how boring a war protest would be. Pushing us to grieve over these tragic events in our own way, by minimizing them. Nagging us to contemplate a "giant tree trunk piece of ass" instead of dead people. Choosing to see a dangling, bloody cock, no matter what anyone says.

But we are not the only ones who rise so hopeful in the mornings with hangovers. Hope is all around us. It floats around in our eyes, like a disease. It is in the scientists, masterminding tools of destruction and text-messaging. It is in the heart and soul of every mass murderer who saw a lot of people being alive and had the audacity to hope that someone would put an end to all that.

And it is here. In this quiet Shitizen glen, hope still murmurs. The hope that one day, no one will give a shit about these 30-odd humans, forever identified with their stupid college mascot. The hope that we will be able to fake empathy the next time the news has to stop covering kinda racist DJ's. And finally, the hope, that in the end, we will Never Forget to be blasé about human misery.

Hollingsworth J. McTubbins said...

Well Duh, daaawg.

Anna Nym said...

Hey now. I sent out emails for a protest, which I'll be attending, and I'm never drunk or hung over. I also have a bleeding community heart.

Am I even qualified to be a shitizen?

ETC said...

Logic fails. You remain Shitizenistic. Like it or not.

Peace out.

War in.