20.5.07

Prince of Thieves

So I got robbed. Robby Robbed. Some crack-head in Owatonna lurked about until they had their chance and snatched my purse. Now, because I've never had my purse stolen, I didn't realize that when they say you're not supposed to carry certain things in your wallet, don't put those things in your wallet. I will be spending all of tomorrow getting a new drivers license, new social security cards for me and Colton, getting new medical cards, and trying to remember what else was in my wallet. The thing that's really messed up is that I had nothing of value in my purse except my cell phone. This highly intelligent crack-head decided to throw my phone in the garbage of the house I was at, but take off with a purse from Target and a slew of things of no value, including my toothbrush and a travel size tube of Crest. We have the list of crack-head suspects narrowed down to three, one of them is also suspected of robbing my seventh grade gym locker during a dance. I was thinking about making a police report, but I'm not sure the OPD could handle it. I hate thieves. And crack-heads. And Kevin Costner



9 comments:

The Grza said...

I'm sorry T-shirt. That sucks terrible. Fucking RobinHood, and his magic fingers...

We should invent a Shitizen Memorial Service...

madam tyrant said...

Why do I like the T-shirt thing? I guess it's kind of endearing and so much better than T-bag. Thanks for the sympathy. Oh, I'm sure Dan told you your Ipod is here. If you're around sometime we can bring it over.

ETC said...

Its kinda like a welcome home party only its a I'ma steal yer tarded shit to be a dick and fuck you over cuz yer in Owatonna now party

Hollingsworth J. McTubbins said...

Why'd you move back to Crimeville again?

madam tyrant said...

I was just down for the weekend to go to my uncle's wedding and mandy's b-day party.

ETC said...

are your friends friends with crackheads? thats dumb. if you hang out with crackheadz, ColtMastaKill will think crack is awesome (neverminding the fact that it is awesome), and then you'll have a crack-son and everyone will cry when he kills himself in prison.

ETC said...

but seriously,
Costner is sweet.... And Prince of Thieves is an awesome movie. Not to mention... Water World, and the Postman... and Tin Cup... and Bryan Adams and Da da Da da Da da Da da duu Daaa du DuDiDa DuDiDa DuDiDaaaaa....

CRACKFISHES said...

C-Word wouldn't kill himself, he'd tear his clothes off in anger and crush down the walls of tyranny with his crack-fists. The authorities, the autocrats, they'll tell us he's the terrorist, the evil crack-addicted monster in our midst, and we'll listen and drive quickly away. But we'll smile when we hear the bleat of an air-raid sirens, plucked from the ground like a crack-daisy, and when no one is looking, we'll bring the torch and each become a little more terrorist...

Dent Burntrap said...

yeah sorta like good ol K----C------