The Television

This television has a vagina. I'm not being vulgar, except insofar as I am a person in a vulgar world. I didn't invent the television with a vagina, I merely observed it.

It has a two-tiered opening, both are completely round. So far, only vaguely vaginal. However, it has a genuinely anatomical vagina, a plastic canal that runs all the way up into the heart of the machine.

Strike that, the cervix of the machine.

A surplus vagina attached on a television isn't necessarily something to get excited about. But this isn't a surplus vagina merely attached on a television. This is a functional component of the television itself. A crucial component. The power button.

That's not exactly right, it isn't the power button, because there is nothing to depress. Instead, in order to provide power to the device, I have to stick my fingers into the canal and rub the edges of its opening. In an attempt to determine the nature of this machine, I tried this same procedure with both a pencil and a stick. Neither succeeded in turning power on to the television.

In documenting this, I will admit to avoiding an important verification technique. I could easily take a picture of this opening and its operation. Yet, I have a nagging fear. What if I'm wrong? What if this television does not have a vagina? What if there is an alternative conclusion?

What if I have been needlessly fingering my television for months?

1 comment:

ecelliam said...