Eggs and No Bullshit

I realized this morning while I was making some eggs, that I'm a no bullshit kind of person. I asked my partner, I woke her up (I gave her the fucking eggs okay, I was nice about it), and I asked "Do you think I'm a no bullshit kind of man?", and my partner, she said that I was no bullshit and I think if you are honest with yourself, you probably have that same feeling.

It came about because I was making these eggs. Now, I like eggs and I like them for breakfast with a glass of water. I don't put pepper on them, or salt, sometimes I put them on some dry toast. Not a lot of fancy extras, we're talking about some eggs and toast.

Eggs aren't simple though, they come with a lot of, let's call it what it is, come with a lot of bullshit. There are about a hundred names for styles of eggs, this line-cooks lingo that people think they are clever when they say it in real life. I'll tell you what, you're not clever just because you read it on a menu and then said it in the home, it's the same foolish thing as calling your hamburgers on the grill a bunch of big macs, except it was your grandparents who did it and somehow the passing of time makes it less bullshit. No it does not, alright. Better to just call some food what it makes you think of when you see it, what you naturally intend to say. Me, I like cartoon eggs, and I mean those kind with a yellow blob in the middle of a white pool. I call them cartoon eggs because that's what I think of when I think of them and I'm not going to try to be something I'm not, pretend I'm somebody who doesn't remember cartoons.

So this morning, when I was thinking that I'm the kind of man who isn't about that bullshit, I decided to listen to my instinct. No bullshit means I don't have to listen to some rules that somebody tells me just because they tell me, no way, I can think for myself and do what it is I think is smart or a good idea, so I made this:

One big-ass, giant, no bullshit, cartoon egg.

No comments: